


Wounded By Silence

by BridgetMcKennitt



Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: Communication Failure, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Canon, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 07:14:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BridgetMcKennitt/pseuds/BridgetMcKennitt
Summary: Touya wasn't a cheater. Shindou knew that deep down in his heart. He knew that in Touya's heart, there was only love for Go and Shindou, so he had nothing to worry about. Touya wasn't the type of person to be led astray by anything.And yet.





	Wounded By Silence

Touya wasn't a cheater. Shindou knew that deep down in his heart. He knew that in Touya's heart, there was only love for Go and Shindou, so he had nothing to worry about. Touya wasn't the type of person to be led astray by anything.

But Shindou worried nevertheless because this wasn't the first time Touya had been late to one of their dates in the past several weeks. They were supposed to meet at the Touya's Go parlor, but Touya was ten minutes late, and Touya was _never_ late to anything. Not until recently anyway. Shindou checked the time on his cell phone one more time before pressing Touya's number and calling him.

The phone rang once, twice, before Shindou heard Touya's voice greeting him.

"Touya," he said, relieved when he heard Touya's voice. "Are you okay?"

There was a suspicious silence over the line and Shindou furrowed his brow. Why wasn't Touya saying anything?

"I'm sorry for being late, Shindou. I'm two minutes away from the parlor. Do you have the goban and stones ready?"

That was such a stupid question that Shindou almost called him out on it. Shindou furrowed his brow some more as he cleared his throat to compose himself. He wasn't a little kid anymore, ready to erupt at a moment's notice. He was mature now with a well paying job and everything.

"Yeah, it's ready. I'll see you in a bit." He ended the call and tucked his phone away into his jacket pocket. Why did Touya lie to him? Okay, it wasn't quite a lie, but Touya _was_ hiding something and Shindou didn't like it. There was no need for Touya to hide anything from him and his secrecy was rubbing Shindou the wrong way. It was making him think of impossible scenarios, like Touya was seeing someone else.

There was no one else besides Shindou!

Shindou blinked before letting out a sigh and rubbing his forehead. He needed to pull himself together before Touya arrived because he didn't want to snap at his boyfriend. He didn't have any evidence that Touya was cheating on him and logically, it wasn't happening. But then why did Touya keep showing up late to their dates and why would was he hiding something from him?

The bell above the door jangled and Shindou turned his head to see Touya entering the parlor. Touya wore a beige jacket and a green beanie on his head with a shoulderbag across his chest. It didn't look like anything was out of place, but Shindou tried to scrutinize his appearance anyway.

Touya kissed his cheek before sitting across from him. At this close of a distance, Shindou distinctly smelled sugar. Where did Touya go that he got sugar on him?

"I'm sorry again for being late. I was caught in traffic."

What traffic? Touya was supposed to be coming from the Go Institute. But Shindou just nodded before pasting on a smile on his face. "Hope you're ready to go. I need a good warmup for my match tomorrow. I'm going to be a 4-dan."

"You're going to do great." Touya's smile was warm in response and Shindou felt embarrassed for thinking such negative thoughts about his boyfriend. Touya definitely wasn't cheating on him.

They began playing their match. Something he learned over the years was that Touya's Go did not lie to him. If there had been something major happening in Touya's life, his Go would have revealed it and there was nothing different in his Go that suggested otherwise. But there was a reason why Touya was continuously late and he was going to find out sooner or later. He just had to be patient.

A couple of hours later and they were leaving the parlor towards their apartment. The wind was chilly as it blew around them and Shindou snuggled up against Touya's side. Touya wrapped his arm around Shindou's waist to bring him closer as they walked on the sidewalk.

"Maybe next time you should bring a sweater with you," Touya said as he kissed Shindou's cheek.

"Nah. That's what I have you for." Shindou ran his hand across Touya's stomach that was housed in his purple sweater. "You're so warm. Oh hey, Akari texted me earlier today. She wants to hang out tomorrow after my match and I told her yes. Did you want to come? You know she won't mind."

Touya shook his head. "I'd love to, but I'm otherwise engaged tomorrow. Please give Akari my regards though."

This wasn't the first time that Touya begged off hanging out with him and Akari, Touya once complained that the two of them tended to ignore his presence when they got together, but there was something about what Touya said that raised Shindou's shackles. As far as Shindou knew, Touya didn't have any engagements tomorrow, at least nothing from the Go Institute. It was possible he had a tutoring session or an interview, but Shindou doubted it.

Then again, maybe he was just losing his mind. He'd ask Akari for her opinion.

*

"I think you're losing your mind," she said as she paid for her drink. "Touya loves you. He's loved you since we were in middle school."

Shindou made a face as he grabbed his own drink from the counter. He remembered how the two of them were in middle school. They were punks. "I don't know about that."

"Okay, you were obsessed with each other. Does that sound better? There were plenty of times you've left me to chase after Touya." Akari poked Shindou in the side as they found a table to sit down at. "He's your whole reason for getting into Go."

"Not entirely him, but yeah." Shindou let himself have a few moments of pleasant thoughts about Sai before getting back to the topic at hand. "But he's been late to our dates lately and he's never late. And he lied about not wanting to come with me today to see you. Something is up."

Akari gave him a look like she thought he was being ridiculous. "And your mind jumped straight away to he's cheating? Even if he is hiding something from you, it's definitely not that. So stop worrying that he's cheating on you because he _isn't_. Touya loves you." Akari scoffed before she took a sip of her coffee.

Shindou furrowed his brow as he thought about what Akari said. He knew Touya loved him, but that wasn't the point. The point was that Touya was hiding something from him and he didn't know what it was. "So what is he hiding?"

"I don't know. It's been awhile since I've last spoken with Touya. Have you just tried talking to him? You _are_ dating him, you know. You're even living with him! But even with all that, you can't just communicate through Go. That's how you come up with dumb ideas like Touya is seeing someone else."

Akari had a point and Shindou felt foolish for even thinking that Touya was cheating on him. That wasn't Touya at all. But then what was he hiding? Why did Touya think he needed to hide something from him? That was the most unsettling part to Shindou because Touya was an open book to him. He loved Touya so much that everything about Touya was fascinating to him, no matter how small the detail.

Shindou took a deep breath. "But he's been lying to me. How can I talk to him if I know he's been lying to me?"

Akari reached across the table to pat Shindou's hand. "Remember that he loves you. Even if he's lying, he'll come around if you ask him directly. It's probably nothing at all and he's embarassed to tell you."

He could do that. He loved Touya and he wasn't going to let something like this get in their way. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, let's talk about the new French-Japanese fusion restaurant that's opening up in two weeks. I heard the owner is a huge Go fan, so you should be able to get me reservations, right?" Akari flashed him a smile and Shindou groaned.

"I guess I can try. I've never even heard of it, so you're going to have to give me more information to go on. Akari, is that all our friendship means to you?"

"It's a bonus. The papers say it's going to be the next new hotspot and if I have an in, then I'm going to use you as that in."

*

Shindou woke up the next day alone. It was the weekend and neither he or Touya had any engagements today, so usually they spent the time sleeping in. Except while Shindou was still in bed, Touya was nowhere to be seen.

Shindou yawned as he slipped out of bed to look for Touya. He found him in the kitchen staring at an empty bowl on the counter. There wasn't anything else on the counter except the bowl that Shindou could see as he came up behind Touya and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Morning," he said as he kissed Touya's shoulder. "What are you up to?"

Touya turned his head and smiled at him. "Morning. I was thinking about breakfast."

Shindou chuckled. "Okay, but all you have is an empty bowl. Are you going to make something or should we go out and get something to eat?"

There was a flicker of something on Touya's face that immediately disappeared and Shindou wanted to frown. He hated that Touya was hiding something from him and he didn't know what it was at all. It was time though to ask Touya directly because he was tired of second guessing what was going on.

"Touya?"

"Hrm?"

Shindou waited until Touya turned around and he took a deep breath. It was so much easier to talk to Touya when they were sitting at a goban. It was how he told Touya about Sai, after all. Well, they were in their kitchen and now was as good a time as any, so he was going to do it.

He reached out and held Touya's hands in his own. "You're hiding something from me, so what is it? I love you, Touya, and I hate that you feel like there's something you can't tell me."

Touya's eyes widened and his mouth slightly dropped open. It would have been comical if Shindou had been in a more jovial mood. He hated the thought that Touya felt like he had to hide something from him, whether small or large. He squeezed Touya's hands, hoping to reassure him.

"It's nothing bad," Touya finally said. "I'm not doing anything illegal or would hurt you."

"But you're lying to me. That kind of hurts. It's already weird when you're late for a date, but then you lie about the reason why, and I hate that."

Touya nodded slowly as his lips curling into a frown. "Yes, and I apologize profusely for that. But it's a ridiculous secret and the more I think about it, the more ridiculous it seems. Now it just looks like a mountain when it's barely a molehill and that's completely my fault."

Akari was right then. "So what's your secret?"

Touya glanced over his shoulder and Shindou followed his gaze to the empty bowl. Did it have something to do with breakfast?

"After one of my tutoring sessions, the mother of the son offered me dessert as thanks. It was this strawberry and cream dessert she purchased from a bakery and while I normally don't like something so decadent, I accepted her offer to be polite."

That sounded like Touya. But what was the big secret?

"My first bite of that dessert was like a revelation. It wasn't heavy at all and every bite made me want to take another bite until I consumed the dessert completely." Shindou noticed Touya's face reddening with every word he spoke. "I asked her for the address of the bakery and I've been going there frequently to purchase more of that strawberry and cream dessert. It's become an obsession of mine."

Shindou wanted to laugh in relief. Touya wasn't cheating on him at all! But he held back in his laughter in case Touya thought he was making fun of him. "That's all?"

"That's all." Touya nodded and the unhappy look on his face made Shindou want to kiss him. So he did.

"Why did you hide that from me? There's nothing wrong with sweets, even if they do become an obsession."

Touya shifted from foot to foot as he looked past Shindou's shoulder. "I don't know. I've never been one for desserts in the first place and it seemed silly to like them so much. I feel like a kid again, but I can't help myself. It's delicious."

Shindou cupped Touya's face and leaned in to kiss him. "You can't always be an old man. Considering you were already an old man when we were in middle school, I think you're long overdue in feeling like a kid again. How about we go to this bakery and have some desserts for breakfast? It'll be great. Just next time, be honest with me. We can't only communicate through our Go." Shindou vowed to never let Akari know that he used her words.

"I can do that. Shindou, you're going to love this strawberry and cream dessert." Touya kissed him sweetly before heading into their bedroom.

He had no doubts about that. Shindou was pretty sure he'd love anything that Touya loved.


End file.
